Zac Power
Cairo, Egypt - Oct.
5th, 2018
Zac was an
ordinary boy. He loved zombies, robots,
videogames, stuff like that. But did he
know everything was about to change? Zac
was in his room reading his favourite book Geronimo
Stilton: Secret Agent. Zac thought to
himself that he wanted to be a secret agent like Geronimo when he grows up. Zac carried on with his book and heard a CRASH! He looked out his
window, it’s the mailman. Zac ran
down to the front door, opened it, checked the mail and he only found one
thing, a letter that said from as I looked around...
A great beginning, Adam, that drew me in. Your use of a question does the same - well done. Take a quick look at 'grows up' as I think it should be 'grew up'. Your last sentence sounds quite urgent with lots happening but I'm not sure it makes sense - maybe there is some punctuation missing.
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